


Letters From a Madman to His Love

by ForeverLilacLies



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Letters, M/M, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-06-30 21:45:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15760320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverLilacLies/pseuds/ForeverLilacLies
Summary: Negan has been defeated and imprisoned, but even with his throat slashed, he still manages to get his message across. Or, Negan writes letters to Rick that start off riddled with cruelty and bitterness and eventually turn into something else.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm back on the letter kick once again thanks to genevievedarcygranger! This in unrelated to my other letter series and will be one sided letters from Negan to Rick throughout his imprisonment. Who am I kidding, I might even throw in Rick's responses here and there. These are going to start out really bitter from Negan's POV, so please bear with me. Carl is dead and nothing is okay.

**_Rick,_ **

**_Well you fucking did it. You fucking took me down. Had me fooled there for a minute too. Really thought you meant that we could build something, but that wasn't your plan was it? Bat those pretty baby blues at me then slash my throat. Very fucking clever, Rick. Are you proud? Guess I should thank that doctor friend of yours for giving me access to paper and pencil. Can't really speak all that well right now. That's fine though, I can still get my message across. I don't need to speak for you to hear me, do I?_ **

**_When I get out of here, and I will get out of here, I'm coming for you. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I'm always here. Just waiting. I can be very patient. Don't get too comfortable Sheriff. I'll be coming for you._ **

**_-Negan_ **

_**Rick,** _

_**You sleep well at night, Rick? Knowing you are the reason your boy is dead? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I were you. I'd blow my fucking brains out. The guilt has to be eating at you, Rick. Your boy died because you failed to protect him. What kind of father fails his kid that badly? I bet it fucking eats at you. Carl was the future, and now where is he? How do you even trust yourself with that little angel of yours? I can only imagine what your people must think. The Widow must fucking hate you. She showing yet, Rick? Her kid's gonna have a lot of questions about his old man. Just send him down my way, I can tell him what sound his daddy's head made when Lucille cracked him open. What was he saying? I'll find you? That's just precious. You don't get more real than that.** _

_**You can't avoid me forever, Rick. I'm always here.** _

_**-Negan** _

_**Rick,** _

**_I'm surprised you haven't taken away my pencils. I know you've read my letters. I can tell by the way your mouth tightens up when you look at me. You've never been very good at hiding what you think. You're still the little bitch I met in the clearing that first night. Your people may have forgotten, but I haven't. That's what I get off on, Rick. Imagining you on your knees, bawling over the asian kid and the red head. Begging me, not to make you cut off Carl's arm. Might have been kinder if I had made you. Maybe, he would never have been out there if I had._ ** **_The good doctor thinks my throat is healing up nicely. I'll be able to talk to you for real very soon. I can ask you myself what you think of my letters._ **

**_Sleep well,_ **

**_-Negan_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this from my phone!

_**Rick,** _

_**I wondered why your girl never came down here to make me stop writing to you. I know that she wouldn't fucking stand for me talking to you the way I do. She'd be down here in a second putting that shit down. But, you haven't told her, have you?  You always were the fucking martyr. You're probably gonna keep this a dirty little secret. Big bad Negan still knows how to get under your skin. Can't imagine there would be much pity for you anyway. Your pretty boy doctor finally removed the stitches. Can't wait to start talking to you man to man.  Should have just killed me, Rick. now you have to live with this.** _

 

_**-Negan** _

 

**_Rick,_ **

**_Your bitchy silent treatments really fucking cute. I'm imagining what I will do when I get out of here. Who do I take out first? Who do I let live? The biggest question is, what am I going to do with you, Prick? It's a toss up between slitting your pretty throat like you did mine, finding Lucille and cracking you open or making you watch as I burn down everything you love. Let's discuss it soon, okay?_ **

****

**_-Negan_ **

****

**_Rick,_ **

**_You really fucking think I need an army to take you out? You're getting really fucking comfortable, aren't you? Let me let you in on a little secret. I started out from nothing and I can rebuild. There's always gonna be unrest in the communities. My people are still out there. My people are still loyal, can you say the same?_ **

****

**_-Negan_ **

****

**_Rick,_ **

**_Anyone tell you that you can't cook for shit. I know it's you fucking cooking too, your little doctor pal told me. Fucking bland as shit, Rick. You ever hear of fucking spices? How the fuck are you even alive?_ **

****

**_-Negan_ **

****

**_Rick,_ **

**_Okay, really fucking cute. How the fuck do you burn spaghetti? You're doing this shit on purpose._ **

****

- ** _Negan_**

****

**_Rick,_ **

**_Time seems really weird down here. I never know what time it is? My beard is getting pretty fucking Gandalf like. How much times has passed? Is it winter yet? You weren't kidding about the cold. I can feel it down here. How are you keeping food stored when it gets this cold? You preserving shit?_ **

****

**_-Negan_ **

****

**_Rick,_** ****

**_Don't know why you brought all these extra blankets. I wasn't fucking asking for them. I was just saying that I could feel the season change and all that. I don't need shit from you. The soup's a little bland, but not bad._ **

****

**_-Negan_ **

**** ****

**_Rick,_ **

**_You ever wonder what Carl would have been like if he lived to be an adult? I do._ **

 

- ** _Negan_**

 

_Negan,_

_Everyday._

_-Rick_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Rick,** _

_**Shit I-** *words violently erased* I didn't mean-*scribbled words, crossed out* **Look, you know how I was** *scribbles* **I was just-** *words cut off, graphite smeared over paper, as if the pencil tip snapped and Negan still attempted to write*_

_**Rick,** _

_**Thanks for the pen.** _

_**-Negan** _

_**Rick,** _

_**You don't come by much anymore. Noticed you've been sending your girl and the doctor. You going on runs or something or just avoiding me? Can't imagine Michaela or whoever she is would appreciate my letters. Gotta hide them under my mattress when she comes down. She's no fun. Not like you.** _

_**-Negan** _

_**Rick,** _

_**Well fuck me sideways, can't tell you how good it was to see your face this morning. Got me a bit nervous for a bit there, Rick. Thought you mighta been bit and died on me. Don't stay away so long anymore, Sheriff. Gets little old me all worried and shit. Staying up all night like a worried spouse or something.** _

_**-Negan** _

_*A crude drawing of a penis under his name*_

_**Rick,** _

_**Has anyone told you that you're shit at small talk? Can't get anything out of you half the time. Food was good. Vegetables tasted fresh. You have a garden or something? How are you keeping them preserved for the winter? Also, your hands are fucking freezing. Wear some gloves outside or something.** _

_**-Negan** _

_*A crude drawing of a penis under his name*_

_**Rick,** _

_**Siddiq mentioned that people were getting sick around town. He brought down some blankets and winter clothes down this morning on your order I guess. You sick, Rick? This is what happens when you don't dress appropriately for the cold, Prick. Now I have to deal with Dr. Do-right until you come back. Do you have any idea how boring he is? Barely reacts to anything I say. Get well soon asshole.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_*A crude drawing of a penis under his name*_

_**Rick,** _

_**So I guess it's not you that's sick. Heard it was your little girl. Hope she gets well soon. Being sick's the worst. Can't imagine she's a happy camper. You're gonna get sick to being around her, but I guess that's part of the job being a parent. Is it snowing yet?** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_Snow's heavy this year. We managed to get a lot of the food from the gardens preserved. Hopefully next year we will be able to build a greenhouse. Judith's getting better. She doesn't have a fever like some of the others. Is it warm enough in your cell? If you start getting sick let Siddiq know. I'm having him deliver your food and some other items until I come back. Stop drawing penises._

_-Rick_

_**Rick** _

_**You don't like penis? I'll draw you something else. It's pretty warm down here with the 10 fucking blankets you had sent down. I can make a nest or something. The good doctor brought some soup down, I can tell you didn't make it. You should write to me more often.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_*Crude drawing of a vagina*_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan's going to be doing a lot of jumping around in his letters. Some will be flirty and sweet and others will be more bitter and desperate.

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**Fine, don't reply to me. I'm not worried. I know you read my letters and see my drawings. Your ears always turn red when I mention it to you. You're a god damn blusher, Rick. It's fucking adorable. Wonder how far down it goes.** _

_**XOXO** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**Thanks for bringing me the books. Gives me something else to do other than jacking off. Stay safe.** _

_**XOXO** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**You ever feel like this is all a fucked up dream? Like you're in a coma and one day you're gonna wake up from it? Stupid sounding, I know** *scribbled out words* **You ever wish it was? Even if that means you never meet your girl or any of your people? Should be an easy answer, should be for more, but** *scribbled out words* **I met you and** *scribbled out words, rest of letter is illegible* _

_**Rick,** _

_**Don't know why I should even be thanking you for this shit. Nothing's gonna change for me here is it?** _

_**-Negan** _

_**Rick,** _

_**You ever feel like you got eyes on you even when you're alone? Alone in bed, thinking you're nice in safe in your girl's arms? You shouldn't get too comfortable. You never know what's out there, just waiting to sink its' teeth into you. Sleep well, Rick.** _

_**-Negan** _

**_Rick,_ **

**_Your girl's been delivering meals lately. Where the hell are you? All she does is stare with no expression. Its' half hot and half terrifying. The sex between you two must be wild. Wish I could be a fly on the wall for that. Bet she has a strap on and has your legs right over her shoulder, going at you like you're a full meal. Some people have all the luck._ **

**_-Negan_ **

_**Rick,** _

_**I tried counting the bricks down here on the wall, but I never could pay attention long enough to keep count. Feel's like it's getting warmer down here too. Is winter over yet? Is the grass green again?** _

_**-Negan** _

_**Rick,** _

**_You mentioned gardening when you brought down food this morning. Farmer Rick with his radishes and carrots. Bet you look cute in a garden too. I never had a green thumb. Always managed to kill whatever Luc *_ ** _scratched out*_ **_whatever I tried to grow. Kind of like you when you try to cook, right? We tried it at the Sanctuary, but the soil sucked so whatever we grew never seemed to taste right or last long. The carrots in the soup you brought down last night were amazing._ **

**_-Negan_ **

_**Rick,** _

_**Has anyone told you you have have a really nice ass? Cause, damn. I could just bury my face between those cheeks. Get my tongue up inside you and get you to say my name in the sweet little drawl of yours.** _

_**-Negan** _

_Negan,_

_You really wasted paper just to comment on my ass? Out of all the things you could have written, you thought that was the way to go?_

_-Rick_

_**Rick!** _

_**How the fuck are you, sweetheart? Thought I'd never get another response out of you! Missed reading your little letters. Not that I don't love talking to you face to face, but there's something cute about you slipping little notes to me. Like we're in high school sneaking notes to each other. How have you been? I see you got my last letter. Is this you accepting it? My face is ready, sweetheart. Come down whenever you like.** _

_**XOXO** _

_**Love, Negan** _


	5. Chapter 5

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**You looked good in those jeans you were wearing this morning. Really emphasize your ass. Anyway, you mentioned bringing down some books tomorrow at breakfast and seeing how I doubt you have a Hustler or anything like that, can I at least suggest something interesting? The books you've been giving me or boring as fuck. I need some action, Rick. In the pages and in the sheets. See you later.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_**XOXO** _

_Negan,_

_You can probably stop commenting on my ass now. You're laying it on a little thick. I have some books I can bring down, I'm not sure they're exactly what you're looking for, but I could always bring down Judith's ABC books if you're that desperate._

_Rick_

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**You gonna read to me pawpaw Rick? In that sweet little drawl of yours? I can't find anything to complain about in that. Come on down and sit by my bed. Or on my lap. Anyway, thanks for the books you did bring. 'A Clash of Kings' is pretty good. There's a whole series on it. They even were making a show based on it. Game of Thrones or something. The books were great so they wanted to expand. They were gonna air the first season when the world went to shit. Got robbed Rick. That show would have been a fucking hit. Also never got to see the final Harry Potter movies. You know how fucking excited I was? I wonder if those kids in those movies made it when shit hit the fan.** _

_**Love Negan** _

_**XOXO** _

_Negan,_

_I remember the final movies were gonna come out. Carl was just getting to that age where he was reading the books and watching the movies. We had just finished the fifth movie and bought the sixth. ***scribbled out words*** We were gonna watch the sixth and promised to take Carl to the opening of the new movie. He was so excited, kept saying if he was at that school he would have been in one of the houses. I think the same one that Harry Potter was in. I can't remember the names._

_Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Yeah...Griffindoor...Gryfindor however the fuck you spell it. They were the brave house. I can see Carl I'm there. He would have been good there. He would ave been at that age when the world went to shit...damn. But I think Slytherin would have been an even better match. Kid was fucking cunning. Every kid wants to be in Gryffindor, but that kid was too damn smart for his own good._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**Okay, so I'm calling bullshit on you. I know you like to come down here to visit me, It's not 'your job' You fucking look forward to seeing me. Probably the most interesting part of your day. Not that it's not mutual. You know you make my day overtime you walk down those steps. Take care.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_**XOXO** _

_**Rick,** _

_**I once got wasted and pissed off the side of a bridge into traffic.** _

_**Negan** _

_Negan,_

_Please don't let this be leading into the information that you have some sort of pee fetish._

_Rick_

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**God damn, you fucking called me out. Do it again.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_**Rick,** _

_**Okay, so maybe my lack of response when you came down last night wasn't really helpful. I think I'm still kind of blown away by the idea of people wearing actual walker skin like silence of the lambs shit. That's fucking insane. You said they called themselves the Whisperers? Maybe you should make sure you have someone with you when you go on runs. I could*** scribbled out words* **Don't want to risk anything going wrong now do we?**_

_**-Negan** _

_**Rick,** _

_**I dream about hurting you. I think about it every time you walk down those god damn steps. Think about how my hands will look wrapped around your pretty throat. It's only a matter of time, Rick. I don't want to** *scribbled words* **You may have beaten me on that field, but I'll come back from it. Should have saved yourself the trouble and just killed me when you had the chance.** *scratched out, illegible words* **You should have fucking let me die, Rick. Why didn't you just let me die?**_

_**-Negan** _

_Negan,_

_Because we can still do better._

_-Rick_


	6. Chapter 6

 

**Dear Rick,**

 

_*Ink marks on page from a hesitating hand*_ **_Will I ever get to leave this place? Even if it's just for a little while, will you let me at least see the sun again? I know you told me that I was gonna rot down here, but I miss the sun. I didn't think that the sun would be the thing I miss the most. I figured sex, and don't get me wrong, I miss sex, and good food 'cause no offense Rick, but you're a terrible cook. I guess I miss a bunch of shit, but the sun is...it made life seem a little less shitty. Like, it was still shining even as everything went to hell. It was constant. I can be useful, Rick. Have me mulch or paint fences or some shit. I'm losing my mind._ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

  

 

_Negan,_

_I can't promise you anything, but I can see if Siqqid or Gabe need you for anything, or I can have you in the gardens with me. But you will have to be put to work. There's a few gardens towards the edge of the community that I might be able to send you. You can help with the gardening or with small tasks. I'm not saying yes, I'm saying maybe. I'll let you know when I bring down your lunch._

_-Rick_

 

 

_**Dear Rick,** _

__

_**Darlin' I could fucking kiss you right now. I'll plant you the biggest eggplant you've ever seen. I swear to fucking God. Anything you want. I will behave, I promise! Thank you!** _

__

_**Love, Negan**_

_**XOXO** _

 

 

_Negan,_

_You did well in the gardens this morning, I'll teach you how to properly harvest onions when they are ready._

_-Rick_

  

_**Dear Rick,** _

__

_**You're letting me out again? I'll listen to whatever you say, Rick. You mentioned the creepy group you've been running into, are they still causing issues?** _

__

_**Love, Negan** _

 

__

_Negan,_

_I will discuss that with you later._

_-Rick_

 

_**Dear Rick,** _

__

_**The creepy preacher is letting me plant whatever I want in part of the gardens out back. You weren't kidding when you said it takes fucking patience. I have none. I'll plant you something nice. What kind of flowers do you like?** _

__

_**Love, Negan** _

__  

_**XOXO** _

 

 

_Negan,_

_You want to plant flowers? I'll look around next time we're scavenging to see if there are any packets. Flowers aren't all that useful, but I guess it would be nice to have something pretty growing around here. I'll bring you up sometime next week so we can get started._

_-Rick_

  

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_You looked good yesterday in the garden. Like a sexy farmer. Would you be willing to let me plow you?_ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

****

**_XOXO_ **

 

**_P.S. I'm told I'm great at fertilizing and all that._ **

 

 

_Negan,_

_Nice try. Doubt your equipment even works anymore._

_-Rick_

 

 

_**Dear Rick,**_

_**God damn, you do have a sense of humor! Fucking low blow, darlin'! Guess I had that coming. Is it weird that I'm hard? Talk to you later, Sheriff. I'll be thinking about you!** _

__

_**Love, Negan** _

 

**_XOXO_ **

 

 

**_Dear Rick,_**

**_I told you to come down and tell me about that date, didn't I? I fucking warned you. Those crazy fucks you told me about? The Whisperers? They're nuts. They need to be taken down. Got Siddiq down here telling me about them. Telling me you're out there fighting them off most days. Was wondering why you went missing! Let me help you. I don't need those crazy assholes getting the jump on you. You just say the word and I'm yours._ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

 

 

**_Rick,_**

**_I know you told me no, but just let me explain. You said they wore peoples skin and walked around like walkers. They're going places I never would have. I've changed, Rick. I know you can see it too. I lost the war because I wasn't meant to win. You were. I know I was an asshole in a lot of my letters but-- *scribbled out* Let me help, Rick. Let me prove that I'm loyal to you. Just point out who you want me to kill and I'll fucking do it. Whatever you need from me. You know where I'll be._ **

****

**_-Negan_ **

 

 

_Negan,_

_I've read your last letter so many times I think I might have it memorized.  I want to believe you. Stupid as it is of me, I want to believe that you're changing. Right now things are too out of control. The Whisperers delivered several heads to our gates last night. Heads belonging to people I was supposed to protect. Tensions are high right now and I know that you would be killed on the spot if I tried to let you out. You do realize that you'd probably be killed by the Whisperers. Or you'd lead them right back to our gates. I hope you're trying to change, Negan. But I can't risk my people over hope. I'm sorry._

 

_-Rick_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_You've been gone a lot recently, little old me is getting awfully bored. Whisperers still causing chaos? I'm here to serve, Rick. Throw me anywhere and I'm your man. Also, that soup you made was fucking great. How to fuck did you learn to cook all of a sudden? Or did someone else make it?_ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

****

**_XOXO_ **

****

 

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_I could really use a shave. I'm looking like fucking Santa. You could always be my ho. Or my sexy elf. Sit on my lap and whisper how naughty you've been in my ear. Also, you should grow your hair out again. I miss those curls._ **

****

**_Thinking about you._ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

****

**_XOXO_ **

 

**_P.S._ **

****

**_*Drawing of Santa Negan with Elf Rick on his lap*_ **

 

 

 

_Negan,_

_You're a terrible artist. I should show it to Anne. I'm sure she's give good feedback. Been awfully busy these last few weeks.The bridge is early complete. It means trade and travel will be much easier for everyone. Tensions are high between everyone. The Saviors are trying to mend fences, but some are still pushing back. I guess you were right when you said you still had loyal people. Whisperers are still causing issues. We're trying to find out where they're coming from._

_-Rick_

 

 

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_Glad to hear about the bridge. You been bitching about if your weeks now. My people are just trying to get things back to the way they were. They really bought into that shit, didn't they?_ **

****

**_Just do that sexy eye thing you did to me on them and I'm sure they'll cave. Anyone in particular giving you trouble? You've been looking even more stressed than normal. I could offer you a nice massage. Also, stop knocking my art. I'd like to see you draw something._ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

****

**_XOXO_ **

****

**_P.S. *Crude drawing of Negan giving Rick a hand job*_ **

 

 

_Negan,_

_You need a new hobby. My ass isn't even that bubbly and you're not that jacked._

_There are a few people who stand out. One guy named Justin, who kept giving everyone trouble. He and Daryl really got into it and I banished Justin. He was killed in the woods and reanimated. I'm still wondering what happened out there.  
_

_There's another named Jed. I told you about Aaron losing his arm, Jed was the one who let go of the log. Aaron's recovering but I can't imagine what trouble he'll end up facing now. Later Jed attacked Carol and me for weapons. Carol disarmed him and he and his people left. Things are gonna escalate and we can't have that while dealing with the Whisperers. There's something I wanted to discuss with you that I don't think is right to put on paper. I'll be down later tonight._

_-Rick_

 

_P.S. *Line drawing of horse in field*_

 

 

 

**_Rick,_ **

****

**_I so am that jacked. And have you seen your ass? Baby got back, Rick. Also, don't get all smug and shit just because you can draw. It's a really fucking pretty horse. I put it on my wall. Draw me more things._ **

****

**_If it's the Justin I'm thinking about he's always been a hot head. Probably good for you to get rid of him. It's a suck ass world out there. Sucks that he died, though. Jed's fucking weird, and that's saying something coming from me. I'd watch out for him retaliating if he gets the chance. Glad you and the lady got out alright.  I'm sorry it's getting like this. I know I really can't say shit, but I hope everything calms down for you. You need to retire and make more pretty babies with your hot girlfriend. Something tells me what you're gonna say is not good._ **

****

**_Negan_ **

 

 

**_Rick,_ **

****

_*illegible words* **Arat was always loyal. Sometimes too much. I shouldn't have let Simon go to Oceanside. Was it quick at least? I know I** *illegible words* **She was a good soldier. Always willing to help. Fucking Simon did this. She never would have killed those kids on her own. Thank you for telling me. Sorry I screamed at you earlier.**_

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

 

 

_Negan,_

_I'm sorry. She was always good here. She wanted to better herself and help. Tara had warmed up to her and they had started to scavenge together. I think it was good for both of them. Arat and I talked a bit. She wanted to be sure you were being treated right. I wish I allowed her to visit. It wasn't right how it happened. You were right to yell at me. We're supposed to be better than just killing people on the streets. There's been too much death already._

_-Rick_

_*Line drawing of landscape with sun rising over trees*_

 

__

_**Rick,** _

__

_**You're something else, you know that? You did your boy proud, Rick. Wish he was here to see it.** _

__

_**Love, Negan** _

 

****

 

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_Your girl, Michonne came to visit. You picked a good one with her. Making sure I'm eating and everything. She brought down some books too. Could really use a Hustler if you catch my drift. Put your other drawing up. Livens the place up a little. Looking forward to seeing you again._ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

 


	8. Chapter 8

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_Sounds_ ** **_like shit’s_ ** **_getting_ ** **_heavy topside. Stay safe,_ ** **_alright_ ** **_? Only has the doc for_ ** **_company_ ** **_late_ ** **_ly and he’s cute but so fucking vanilla. Like a god damn boy scout or some shit._ ** **_He’s_ ** **_no fun. Visit when you can!_ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

****

**_XOXO_ **

****

****

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_I was married. Before all this shit went down, I had a wife. Her named was Lucille. The bat...the fucking bat got me through with killing the walkers, so I named it after her. It was a shitty comparison. Wasn't fair to do that to Lucille. She deserved better. She had cancer *illegible scribbling* was dying and I fucking cheated on her. What kind or person does that Rick? She was so good to me and I-_ ** _*illegible scribbling*_ ****

****

**_I wish I had been a better person for her. I wish I had been there when she needed me. She'd fucking hate what I am now. I hate what I am._ **

****

**_-Negan_ **

 

_Negan,_

_I'm sorry about your wife. I can understand losing yourself like that. When my wife died, I was a wreck and I started going down a bad path. But I had Carl and Judith. I was lucky I had them. They're the only reason I'm here. I'm sorry you never had the chance._

_-Rick_

 

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_Glad you and the hillbilly made up. Still think you deserve better._ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

****

**_XOXO_ **

 

_Negan,_

_Can you please stop masturbating when Tara brings your meals? This is the second time I've had to clean the food she throws at you. She's not interested._

_-Rick_

 

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_I swear to all that is holy that I didn't know she was coming down. If she'd pick a set time and stick to it that would be fucking great. Not my fault she picks my 'me' time to bring me food. Or at least have her announce herself? Like a quick 'Hey, stop jacking off, I have food?' Honest to God, I usually aim for when you're coming down._ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

****

**_XOXO_ **

 

_Negan,_

_That's real thoughtful of you._

_-Rick_

 

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_I can be real fucking thoughtful, Rick. Tell me when and I can show you how thoughtful I can really be. If you catch my meaning._ **

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

****

**_XOXO_ ** **_  
_ **

****

_Negan,_

_Had some books brought down but you were sleeping. Hope you like them. Carol and Ezekiel are engaged. Carol wouldn’t let him make his speech so he waited until dinner in front of his men. It was great. Daryl’s gone to Hilltop and Tara volunteered to oversee the Sanctuary. She’s always been a good person and I think she’ll do well there. The bridge is complete, we’re gonna start trading soon. Looks like things are settling down for now, still looking out for the Whisperers. I know they’re still out there._

_-Rick_ **_  
_ **

****

**_Dear Rick,_ **

****

**_Thanks for_** ** _listening_** ** _. You_** ** _don’t_** ** _have to but you_** ** _still_** ** _make a point to talk to me and shit. Better than I_** ** _deserve_** ** _and I_** ** _k_** ** _now it. We both know it._** ** _You’re_** ** _a good man, Rick. A damn good man and I think I lo *_** _illegible scribbling*_ **_I guess there’s shit I need to talk to you about. I think I’m ready._**

****

**_Love, Negan_ **

****

**_XOXO_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep an eye out for the sequel later tonight


End file.
